How Not to Pray

Friends!

I feel like it's been such a long time since I've written (probably because it has been such a long time since I've written,) but I am back! If you follow me, you know that I have been lucky enough to be at my cabin in New Mexico. It is my favorite place. I love it. Even more than Disneyland. Even more that Disneyworld! I know, guys. That's a lot of love. 

Anyway, it is very close to the church camp I went to- oh- all of my youth, and I get to go to so many camp events. The other day, I was at a campfire, and - oh, man - it was just the most beautiful night for a campfire. It had rained earlier that day, so everything smelled fresh, and it was cool. The fire was crackling. Everything was perfectly still. The only imperfection were the bats… I can't. I…I just can't. So anyway, I'm sitting out at this campfire with my sister and one of the best guys I know, and I look up at the sky. The stars appear so low, I'm almost convinced I could reach out and scoop up a handful. <--- I didn't mean for that to come out as oddly poetic as it did, but really, they were almost tangible. SO PRETTY. I thought to myself: "I'm so lucky." That's the thing, though. I'm not lucky at all. I'm blessed. I know that word is overused, but there isn't another word that satisfies. I am blessed by a perfect and HUGE God. 

So I began thinking… 

(by the way, this just shows how distracted I become with my own thoughts; I hardly heard a word the speaker said….I shouldn't brag about that, should I?)

 So I began thinking about how truly great our God is, that He could create such a perfect moment, but also how gentle He is and how He truly loves me - how He even knows how many hairs are on my head. He knows more about me than I know about myself! Now…pause to think about what that really means….wow. Wow, is all I can say. 

I began to think about that, which led me to think about the way I pray. (Finally, I'm getting to the heart of this post. Sorry for the rambling that's happening today..?) 

So here's the thing: I am guilty of two major praying crimes. Maybe more, but I'll just say two for today. The first thing that I do wrong when I pray is that - when I'm guilty about something, I often feel ashamed to bring it up in prayer. I know that's ridiculous. You know that's ridiculous, but I still do it. Please, please tell me I'm not the only one. It's coming from a place of reverence. I do not want to disappoint the God that has provided so many blessing for me by telling Him I have failed Him (again.) Right? 

But that's not the way it works. I can't simply - by avoiding bringing it up - hide information from the God that knows me better than I know myself. (Like...no duh, Becca.)  He already knows. He knows me to my very core, and here's the great part: He will still love me. Even though I'm a total bonehead, He will love me. And that's all that matters. 

So even when my little pea brain thinks it's the best idea to try to hide things from Him, because I can't bear to disappoint Him…He probably laughs first, but He always knows my heart and always loves me as His daughter. 

The second major crime I commit - and again, please tell me I'm not the only one who does this - is that I (unconsciously) manipulate prayers to my "benefit." <--- I put that in quotes, because I don't actually know what's best for me; only He can know that. How many times have you prayed for something you really, really wanted and said something like "Lord, I promise I'll (fill in the blank) if you just let me have (fill in the blank)." I know I'll catch myself doing this from time to time. Seriously, sometimes I'm baffled at my immaturity. Prayers are not a sales pitch. God knows the deepest desires of my heart; I do not need to convince Him of reasons why He should give me something. Seriously, I'm embarrassed even admitting this, but I am admitting it, because I have a feeling I may not be the only person who does it. Psalm 37 says "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." We do not need to convince Him of anything; He gives us all that we want and need! He is not our parents, and we are not asking for a later curfew--- He is the God of our hearts! And He has a perfect plan in store for each of us! (Which He planned….all by Himself…He needs no suggestions from me.) 

Ah… how cool is that?! He can take my immature, lame-brain problems and still make something beautiful out of them. I LOVE IT.

So when we pray, let's be full-disclosure, hiding nothing. No matter how embarrassed or guilty we feel. And let's be completely satisfied in God's plan for us, because it really is the perfect plan. Pride is asking God for something I want, instead of embracing God's perfect plan. Remember: God is our chauffeur. We don't need to know where we're going, because we trust that He will get us to where we need to be. 


He loves us. 
All the time.
Really.





-becca